Football Season Again

Football season coming!



Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the

meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades

and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

______________________________________

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go

hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

______________________________________

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?

Drool.

______________________________________

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take

to change a light bulb?

None. That's a sophomore course.

______________________________________

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking

milk?

The cow fell on him.

______________________________________

Two West Virginia football players were walking in the

woods.

One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."



The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"

______________________________________

A University of Louisville football player was almost

killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and

unplugged the horse.



______________________________________

What do you say to a University of Kentucky football

player dressed in a three-piece suit? "

"Will the defendant please rise."

______________________________________

If three Florida State football players are in the same

car, who is driving?

The police officer.

______________________________________

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a

girlfriend?

There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

______________________________________

What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in

one room?

A full set of teeth.

______________________________________

University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to

dress half of his players for the game this week; the

other half will have to dress themselves.

______________________________________

How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.

______________________________________

Why did the Texas linebacker steal a police car?

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.

______________________________________

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your

porch?

Pay him for the pizza.